Oh, Sarah Palin's at It Again...and so is Letterman

OK, so in case you haven’t seen it, here’s the recap. David Letterman made a joke about Sarah Palin’s trip to New York last week, and said that she was going to Bloomingdale’s to get a “slutty flight-attendant” outfit. Palin was upset, but that didn’t stop “ol’ Dave.” He went on to make a joke about her daughter being “knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”

The question on everyone’s mind this week is: Has David Letterman gone too far?

Obviously the criticism is there about the uncertainty of whether he was talking about Governor Palin’s 18-year-old daughter (the unwed mother of one) or her 14-year-old daughter.

  This is a case of taste. Letterman did not specify which daughter he was referring to when he made the joke, so the case could be made he was implying that Sarah Palin’s 14-year-old daughter could have been “knocked up” by Alex Rodriguez during the family’s recent trip to Yankee Stadium.

Hardly.

  It’s pretty obvious that Letterman was referring to Palin’s 18-year-old daughter; the one that you could say has been “knocked up.” She has a child with a man who she is not married to, and who, last time I checked, is set to make less than $28 million this year. In fact, he’s just a dude who wants to smoke pot and play hockey.

  Let’s face it. Letterman crossed the line with his joke. He shouldn’t assume that any governor’s daughter is going to get impregnated by a professional athlete. It doesn’t help that the governor he’s trying to poke fun at has a 14-year-old daughter as well.

  Moving forward, would it really be that bad if Bristol (the 18-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin) were to get “knocked up” by Alex Rodriguez? Think about it. A-Rod has been trying to clean up his public image ever since coming out about his steroid usage, and what better way to do that than to be a loving father to a child and marry the woman who is going to bear his child for 9 months?

  Besides that, A-Rod is banking $28 million a year, so obviously some of that money is going to the Palin family, which means, hello, funding for the Palin for President 2012 campaign. Yes, that is a very scary thought, but it could happen.

  That is, if Alex Rodriguez “knocked up” Palin’s daughter.

  All joking aside, the joke Letterman made was in bad taste, and Letterman should have known better than to take low blows like this on political figures. Except for the fact that, well, Letterman is known for taking low blows on political figures.

  Remember President Bush’s words of wisdom? Or a quote from President Bush? Or even more recently, the Sarah Palin Debate Recap, where Letterman cuts footage and puts it together to make it appear as though Palin said something profoundly ridiculous? Hard to do, I know, but he’s been ridiculing politicians for years. That’s what he does.

  For the media to give the Palin joke as much media attention as it did shows that they have nothing else to talk about. Palin said it best when she said, “Slow news day, evidently.”

  And a slow news day it must have been. Luckily though, Letterman has since apologized, and Palin has forgiven him. What Palin should really be thinking about are more important things, like running the state of Alaska, taking care of her family, and uh, maybe meeting Alex Rodriguez.

  Hey, money talks people. Just think about it. A-Rod is doing pretty well, and Bristol (not to mention the Republican Party) could be doing better. What better way to rally the troops than to bring A-Rod on board? Just something to think about.

  In the meantime, watch Ball State Alum David Letterman do his thing at night, and don’t take his jokes too seriously. They’re called jokes for a reason.

Presidential Cell Phone Questions

On Monday, President Obama promised economic relief this summer by feeding federal money into hundreds of public works, in hopes to create or save 600,000 jobs by the end of the summer.

Well I’m here to announce that we have our first real taste of relief – but it’s not from the government.

Apple announced Monday that it was lowering the price of the 8GB iPhone 3G to $99, countering critics of the company for having too high of prices, and encouraging more consumers to buy the phone.

Yes! Now we can all buy iPhones!

But wait. The President is a busy man, and keeping in constant contact with his cabinet members has got to be an important aspect of the job. So, maybe he should get an iPhone.

After being elected President of the United States, Obama had to give up his Blackberry, but after a struggle with the Secret Service, he was granted his device back – installed of course with software from the U.S. Government to keep him safe.

But what kind of Blackberry “butt-dials” as the commercial calls it, does he make with that?

Is he calling his mother-in-law during briefings on Iraq and Afghanistan? That would make interesting dinner conversation.

“Barack, how’d your meetings go today?”

“Everything went fine. No major concerns to worry about, so we’re all feeling pretty good.”

“That’s not what Gates told you. Michelle, did you know that Al Qaeda is stronger than ever, and your husband wants to go to Afghanistan? You know, you really need to listen to that Defense Secretary of yours. He’s such a nice man.”

“Well, there’s a lot of talk back and forth going on.”

“Look, Barack. I care too much about my granddaughters to take this lightly. Are you taking this seriously?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Now take your elbows off the table. It’s rude.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I hope the government-issued software comes with a butt-dial proof application. We don’t need a stressed-out President. His mother-in-law already lives with him. Let’s not make it worse.

That’s why Obama should buy an iPhone. He knows his way around iTunes, having done his own podcast as a Senator. He could even have applications made specifically for him.

Foreign Policy Concerns? Ask the “Culture Vulture” application. This app could tell him exactly what are the important cultural nuisances in each country he’ll soon be visiting.

Don’t know what to make for dinner? Use the “o-BAM-a” application featuring Emeril where he goes step by step on how to cook Obama’s favorite recipes, all while staying incredibly annoying.

VP got his foot in his mouth again? Use the “Biden Foot Retriever” app. Just put the iPhone in the Vice President’s mouth to jar the foot loose, and then type in what he said that got his foot in there in the first place. The app will then produce better ways to say the same thing.

The possibilities are endless.

Imagine all the AT&T executives salivating at the possibility of Obama buying an iPhone. They could make millions.

“Obama uses it, and yes, you can too!”

“Together with President Obama, Yes We Can…get the best possible coverage worldwide through our AT&T service.

“AT&T can. Verizon McCain’t.”

OK, maybe I don’t want him to buy an iPhone. I don’t think I could handle the campaign reminiscent, cliché ridden commercials that would surely follow.

Do you think Obama would get be forced to pay roaming charges for making calls to Ahmadinejad in Iran or Castro in Cuba about peace talks? And how would AT&T explain the charges to the public?

“AT&T loves peace and prosperity, but the dude’s calling all over the place. We can’t keep up with that. I mean, come on.”

The President’s cell phone isn’t really a topic you’ll see in the news media, because, well, it’s not important. The news media only covers topics of actual concern and has much more important things to report.

Like Britney Spears.